While I always love reading, I go into overdrive when gearing up to write a new book, specifically seeking inspiring authors. I’ve been hitting the jackpot this year, reading one banger after another, and would love to share their work with you.
(Please excuse my horrendous Photoshop skills.)
So Sad Today: Personal Essays by Melissa Broder (2016)
Broder’s essays run the gamut from addiction and mental health struggles to non-monogamy and kink. I haven’t read a more “real” or “authentic” nonfiction essay collection in my life.
There’s a level of depth to her writing—an amount of introspection that only few people truly reach. But what stuck with me the most were the paradoxes in her writing, in herself. She is so put together while simultaneously a mess. That’s me. That’s all of us. That’s what it means to be human.
It’s why she doesn’t wrap up her book in a pretty, pink bow. She writes:
“With a name like So Sad Today, I feel pressure to write the perfect essay about anxiety and depression. But it’s the illusion of perfection that catalyzes my anxiety and depression.”
“…It seems weird to me that here we are, alive, not knowing why we are alive, and just going about our business, sort of ignoring that fact. How are we all not looking at each other all the time just like, Yo, what the fuck?”
“…Maybe you relate to my what the fuckness and feel a little better about your own. All I want from you is to be liked. Of course, that is a scared woman’s way of saying what I really want, which is to connect with you on a deep and true level while I am still on this earth, and maybe even after I am off it.”
100 Boyfriends by Brontez Purnell (2021)
I’ve known of Brontez for some time, of his reputation and brilliance, but I’m embarrassed to admit that I didn’t read his book until after we fucked (which, I don’t know—was maybe for the better?).
For the first few essays, I thought his book was nonfiction. Then, I reached a story that was clearly fiction, and I thought it was a combination of fiction and nonfiction. After Googling, I realized it was all fiction. Still, I’d argue his book is genre-defying (and I’d be willing to bet his life heavily inspired some of the stories).
While his book has its fair share of sex, the unifying factor of his work is the desire to be loved—what we do for love, how we settle for love, how love is beautiful and self-destructive and messy and makes us lose our fucking minds.
Personally, I feel confident in my sexual skills. But when it comes to intimacy and love, that is another beast—one I’m currently attempting to wrangle. So, perhaps it was good I waited to read Brontez.
I read him at the right time in my life.
Exhibit by R.O Kwon (2024)
At its core, the novel Exhibit is about desire—about owning what we want and, equally important, what we do not want. It touches on social and cultural factors that make desire challenging when you are queer, female, and/or a person of color.
In my opinion, Exhibit is not a plot-driven novel. Yes, of course, there are plot points, but you shouldn’t read Kwon’s novel hoping for some "big twist” or “reveal.” It’s about people, their feelings, fears, and wants.
On a technical level, R.O. Kwon’s prose is like poetry; every word and punctuation is purposeful. (Though, when I went to her book signing in NY, she joked that she couldn’t be a poet, as she isn’t obsessed with the moon, which is seemingly a prerequisite for all poets.)
I also love the way she realistically writes dialogue. The characters weren’t perfectly conversing, answering each other’s questions; they went on tangents. They brought the conversation back to themselves—just like in real life.
Her Body and Other Parties: Stories by Carmen Maria Machado (2017)
Jesus Christ. I don’t know how to begin discussing Machado’s book of speculative fiction short stories, so I’m pulling from Goodreads’ description.
“In Her Body and Other Parties, Carmen Maria Machado blithely demolishes the arbitrary borders between psychological realism and science fiction, comedy and horror, fantasy and fabulism.”
Here’s what I can add: I teared up frequently reading Machado’s book, often having to put it down to breathe before reading the following story. I think it is a book that will feel very familiar to most women and foreign to many men.
Machado’s descriptions aren’t like anything you’ve ever read. As a writer, one of the hardest things is to describe a place, nature, or feeling in a way that hasn’t been written about before. Machado masterfully succeeds in this task. She is the pinnacle of “show and don’t tell,” and because of the way she shows, you feel her work deep in your gut.
The paperback edition of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto is finally out! Grab a copy HERE!