My Night Started in the Sauna and Ended With Me Taking Multiple Dicks in a Swing
My first time ever getting f*cked in a swing, if you can believe it.
Original illustration by Roy (@theslagroom)
Since I had spent the past 96 hours sucking, fucking, and breeding countless men, I figured I should have one (1) night to recuperate. But it was Friday, and the Gaythering was hosting a Drag Race event because, of course, they were. The music was blasting, fans were clacking, queens were hooting, and boys were hollering. So, there was no way I could get any sleep. I’ll just hop in the sauna for a bit, I thought. Some jacuzzi, some head. Maybe a hole or two. Nothing wild, and I’ll get to bed at an early hour.
I can do this, I told myself as I crawled out of bed and put on a pair of sweatpants. (Freeballing, as I’d be stark naked momentarily.) I know it sounds absurd how hard I was struggle bussing, but you have to understand Miami is a nonstop party filled with ripped Latino gods and real-life Barbie dolls. I was like a gaped hole at a dildo factory. The idea that I would have any self-control when one of these beautiful men messaged, “Let’s fuck, Papi,” is absurd. I am but human.
But I made it down at 10:45 pm, past the gaggle of gays smoking outside.
The Gaythering bathhouse is small but mighty, having only the basics: a jacuzzi, steam room, sauna, showers, a glory hole partition, and porn playing on a TV. But I actually prefer a smaller bathhouse, so all the guys aren’t spread out. I’ve been to bathhouses the size of a Manhattan city block, and there’s a lot of aimless wandering, like zombies in the night, searching for brains and bussies.
Not at the Gaythering. The action is all around you. And if the steam room is empty, that means everyone is shvitzing and sucking in the sauna.
I walked into the bathhouse with my towel thrown across my shoulder, not wrapped around my waist. It’s a power move having your dick out on full display, and it also invites attention. Guys will grab my dick and caress my hairy cheeks as I strut by—and that’s the point. I came to the bathhouse to be touched.
I opened the sauna door, and a waft of thick heat burned my eyes, causing them to water. (There is nothing wrong with the Gaythering sauna; I simply have very sensitive eyes.) When they adjusted, I saw a group of a dozen men. All were jerking themselves off except for a trio. A PAWB (Phat Ass White Boy) was getting railed from behind while he sucked off of a dude who was seated in front of him.
I sat down beside them and watched. To put it bluntly: The PAWB was a cock hungry faggot. His eyes were that of a starving hyena who had been scavenging for days but was yet to find a carcass. Ironic, considering he was mid-feast, but it was clear that this meal would not sate him.
A man who had been staring at me from the moment I walked into the bathhouse sat down next to me. I knew he would follow me inside the sauna, and I left space for him. His curvy blond hair was wet, and his stubble looked like he would hurt to kiss. So I tilted my head to the side when he leaned in for a peck. He continued south, and his mouth found its way onto my cock. I placed my hand on the center of his back and pushed him down a little further. He gagged, taking it like a champ.
I peeped over to see him furiously stroking eight inches. I wanted it, so I bent over and began working the Boyslut 5000 Gobble Gobble. He pushed my head down, something I usually love, but I quickly removed his hand and pulled up.
I had gotten so mercilessly and brutally throat fucked that afternoon and in my favorite position (with my head hanging over the bedframe) and had, incidentally, bruised the back of my throat. Any pressure caused unbearable pain and not the good type.
I felt a touch on my shoulder. I turned to see the PAWB needing a place to sit. I scooched over. He seemingly wanted a break, but seeing my thick piece, he got up and started riding me reverse cowgirl with his hands planted on my thighs.
This man’s ass! He was one of those faggots who does squats every single day, and God bless him for it. And even though he had a hairy chest, his ass was smooth as a bowling ball. I pumped my dick inside of him, and I could fill myself hitting his second (third?) hole. I grabbed his furry tits and pinched his nipples as he rode me.
I heard him gasping for air. The sauna was indeed a sauna, and who knew how long he’d been in there?
“Do you wanna cool off?” I asked him.
“Yes,” he replied, thankfully.
Outside, we introduced ourselves. His name was Jack. Zach and Jack, what a duo.
He said he wanted to fuck a few more guys but wanted to spend the night with me. “Great, get a few more loads, and when you’re ready, we can head back to my room. I’ll just chill in the Jacuzzi until then.” He asked if his friend, Daddy Drew, could join.
“The more, the merrier,” I replied. He went to the steam room, and I went for a dip in the tub. The blond boy followed me in there. We made eye contact across the Jacuzzi, and I rose out, exposing my hard cock but keeping my legs in the water. He came over and started sucking. I’m going to be real, guys: I wasn’t feeling it. Even when he gave me his hole, I just wasn’t. Eventually, he left, and I had the Jacuzzi to myself. It was nearly midnight, closing time, and the sauna was wrapping up.
Jack found me in the tub and introduced me to Daddy Drew, his 6’5 light-skinned, half-white, half-black friend.
“What’s up, my dude? We gonna have some fun?” he asked. His grin shot through my heart like Cupid’s arrow. The good vibes emanating from this man—the sex vibes—so damn good.
The three of us returned to my room. I expressed dismay at having changed rooms from the “Fun King” to the “Studio King,” so I no longer had a sex swing/sling.
“No worries, brother! I got you,” DD said, grabbing his car keys. He then rushed out my door, slamming it behind him.
“Okay…” I replied, confused. I turned to Jack, who was on Grindr looking for more dudes. He didn’t need more dudes. At least not yet. He had me, and I wasn’t done fucking his phat white ass.
“Get on the bed, ass up,” I commanded. Jack smiled at me, flashing his pearly white veneers that gave him an eerily perfect, Patrick Bateman-esq smile. He threw himself onto the bed and assumed a tabletop position.
“Arch that back, bitch. Come on, you know how to do this,” I said. I pressed down on the center of his lower back, and his booty perked up in the air. “That’s a good faggot,” I said.
“Yes, yes,” he replied, his voice trembling. I lubed up and slid right into his warm, gooey hole.
“Take this dick, you fucking whore,” I said.
“Um-hm,” he whimpered. I love a faggot who eats, lives, and breathes cock.
DD returned with a ski bag.
He saw us mid-action and said, “Nah, come on. Arch that back. What the fuck is this shit?”
“Right?” I said. DD smacked his ass before turning to me. I continued fucking Jack, free-use style, while having a whole conversation with DD.
“So I got a swing right here that I can set up.”
“Nice, go for it! But I’m letting you know now, that moment I cum, you guys have ten minutes to get the fuck out of here. I’m not trying to be up until 8 am,” I said.
“Copy that!” DD replied. “Oh, and I also got something for this hungry bottom.” He pulled out some bondage gear that connects the bottoms’ thighs to their wrists, so when they’re lying on their back, their legs are up in the air, in an elevated “frog” position. Their hole is then looking you square in the eye.
DD quickly strapped up Jack and then started setting up the swing.
When I tell you I bought this gear the MOMENT I got home. I felt like an NBA player hitting every three-pointer with a swish—nothing but net with each shot.
“Shit, shit,” Jack started to shout. “Stop, stop!”
I quickly pulled out. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“I was about to cum hands-free and really don’t want to.”
The man gave me a heart attack for no goddamn reason. As I agreed to take a break, DD said the swing was ready. “Alright, Imma hop in it,” I said.
I entered the swing, and he strapped my ankles in the stirrups. Jack went downstairs, cruising for more dick.
“You know, I don’t think I’ve actually been fucked in a swing,” I said, which I’m aware is mindboggling.
“Oh, you’re going to love it, my dude,” DD replied as he lubed up his dick and my hole. I ogled his cock with a combination of fear and delight. He was big, and I knew I would take him, but I wished I was four minutes into the future—loosened up and ready for a pounding.
Luckily, he wasn’t overambitious. He knew his size—his power and took his time. He listened when I said “Slower” and “Hold it there.”
He’d reply, “I gotchu, brother,” and “No rush, my man.”
I closed my eyes and focused all my energy on relaxing—a paradox if there ever was one. Inhale through the nose. Exhale through the mouth. Again. Deeper. Diaphragmatic breathing—the type my vocal coach taught me in college when I (briefly) studied opera.
I opened my eyes to see his grinning face and long tongue hanging out of the corner of his mouth. DD was oozing golden retriever energy.
“Okay, all the way, and hold it,” I said.
“Let’s fucking go!” he barked.
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