The Boyslut's Official 2023 "Best of" List
The Boyslut shares his favorite books, TV shows, and sex parties from 2023, along with his 2024 New Year resolutions.
2023 is wrapping up, which means it’s time for some good old-fashioned, end-of-the-year reflection. TBH, I had a pretty damn good year. Or at least the back half of the year. The lead-up to the release of my book was a goddamn shit show—a lot of tears, stress, obsessive thoughts, and generalized anxiety. But the back half of the year was LIT. Touring and meeting so many of you IRL was undoubtedly the highlight. I cannot and will not stop thanking you for your support. It’s what fuels me to keep writing.
With that feel-good nonsense out of the way, let’s get into some of my 2023 favs! (A lot of you ask me which books, TV shows, and sex parties I recommend, so I figured I’d post about it.)
Favorite Non-Fiction Book (a tie)
I’m a bisexual who can’t choose, so you guys get two books for my favorite non-fiction of 2023.
You Gotta Be You: How to Embrace This Messy Life and Step Into Who You Really Are by Brandon Kyle Goodman
Okay, their book technically came out in 2022, but I didn’t read it until this year, so I’m counting it! Now there was a reason why I held off reading Brandon’s book. I had read so many queer memoirs about “How to live your life authentically” in preparation for writing Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto that I was losing my fucking mind. And, if I’m being honest, I didn’t love many of the books I read. That’s because I felt they weren’t actionable. It was a lot of lip service about embracing who you are without actually sharing how to do it.
By far, You Gotta Be You gave the most implementable advice about stepping into your most authentic self. I didn’t expect to learn as much as I did from their book, and I really think that speaks volumes.
Grab a copy here.
Tweakerworld: A Memoir by Jason Yamas
This book fucked me up in the best way possible. I think memoirs that read like novels tend to be the most engaging, and Yamas’ book reads like a novel. But there’s also something to be said about the sheer content of his book, which is absurd. It’s about how he became the biggest meth and GBL dealer in San Francisco, enmeshed in the gay chemsex scene. His book details his struggle with addiction, but more interestingly (in my opinion), it documents what really happens within the gay meth community.
Anyone who’s hopped on Grindr anytime after 2 am knows how ubiquitous meth use is in the gay community. In short, it ruins lives and kills people. Yet, it’s so seldomly discussed. I think there’s this fear that if we discuss what’s happening, straight conservatives will use it as ammunition for discrimination. The truth is, they might, but we still need to discuss this epidemic that is killing our community.
If you want to lose your goddamn mind reading a book, check out Yamas’ Tweakerworld.
Grab a copy here.
Favorite Fiction Book
All Night Pharmacy by Ruth Madievsky
I will be completely honest; I haven’t finished the book yet. I started reading it a few days ago and am OBSESSED with it. So there is a small possibility that I hate the ending, but I feel like that’s unlikely. Since I haven’t finished it yet, I will grab the synopsis from Penguin Random House.
Rachel Kushner meets David Lynch in this fever dream of an LA novel about a young woman who commits a drunken act of violence just before her sister vanishes without a trace
On the night of her high school graduation, a young woman follows her older sister Debbie to Salvation, a Los Angeles bar patronized by energy healers, aspiring actors, and all-around misfits. After the two share a bag of unidentified pills, the evening turns into a haze of sensual and risky interactions—nothing unusual for two sisters bound in an incredibly toxic relationship. Our unnamed narrator has always been under the spell of the alluring and rebellious Debbie and, despite her own hesitations, she has always said yes to nights like these. That is, until Debbie disappears.
Falling deeper into the life she cultivated with her sister, our narrator gets a job as an emergency room secretary where she steals pills to sell on the side. Cue Sasha, a Jewish refugee from the former Soviet Union who arrives at the hospital claiming to be a psychic tasked with acting as the narrator’s spiritual guide. The nature of this relationship evolves and blurs, a kaleidoscope of friendship, sex, mysticism, and ambiguous power dynamics.
With prose pulsing like a neon sign, Ruth Madievsky’s All-Night Pharmacy is an intoxicating portrait of a young woman consumed with unease over how a person should be. As she attempts sobriety and sexual embodiment, she must decide whether to search for her estranged sister, or allow her to remain a relic of the past.
Grab a copy here!
Favorite Album
That! Feels Good! by Jessie Ware
Jessie was my most listened-to artist on Spotify in 2023, and it’s because of her newest pop and disco-inspired album, That! Feels Good! Her album is undeniably for the girls, gays, and theys. Some tracks meld elements of R&B, house, and soul.
I listen to it while having sex, at the gym, or just chilling in my apartment. No matter what I’m doing, That! Feels Good! is always a vibe.
Favorite Animated Series
Human Resources
A spin-off of Netflix’s Big Mouth, Human Resources, was sadly canceled after two seasons, but it is fucking amazing. I love hilarious, graphic, and raunchy shows while still having a positive message. I think in this era of “you can’t joke about anything because it’ll offend people,” Human Resources shows that you absolutely can joke about everything, and your jokes can actually have a positive message, too. That doesn’t make it less funny, but actually funnier.
Favorite Sex Party in New York
Your Apartment
This was tough because, truthfully, my favorite sex parties in NY are thrown by my friends. We’ll do a small thing at one of our apartments, inviting a few friends over for some sexy time. Or, conversely, we’ll rent out a large space (that throws sex parties, so they already have the infrastructure) and invite a hundred people. So, instead of listing my favorite sex party in NY, I’m going to encourage you to start throwing your own (and please invite me).
Favorite Sex Party in LA
Hot Dog Sundays
So Hot Dog Sundays is not a sex party, but I mayyy have had sex with two different guys in the bathroom, so I’m counting it. It’s a weekly gay party that happens every Sunday in Silver Lake with the hottest and sluttiest go-go dancers of all time. There are queer merchants there selling clothing and jewelry, and then also an in-door dance floor. I’ve struggled to find queer parties I like in LA, but you better believe I’ll be there every Sunday when I’m in Los Angeles.
2024 New Year Resolutions
Heeding Red Flags
It’s tough because hindsight is 20/20. And some seemingly neutral things only become red flags after the fact. But then there are the clear red flags that I ignore. I think it’s because I don’t want to judge someone by a single action or their “worst” character trait. I think we all make mistakes and can grow (if we truly want to). So I try to be a little forgiving, but this is no bueno, at least not for me. In 2024, I’m doing my best to avoid unnecessary stressors, which means taking a step back from people (i.e, friends, lovers, partners, everyone) giving me red flags.
Going With My Gut More
This is similar to heeding red flags, but interestingly, the reason why I think a relationship is not going to work within the first two weeks is exactly why we break up months down the line. Time and time again, my gut has been correct. Given its proven track record, let me go ahead and listen to it.
Not Feeling Guilty (and Apologizing) When I Did Nothing Wrong
Maybe it’s the Jew in me, but I am often wracked with guilt…when I really did nothing wrong. So when someone says something about my behavior, I automatically assume they’re right, and I did something wrong, so I need to change my behavior. (Then I’ll feel guilty about all of this.)
This is the opposite of many (toxic) men, who often don’t admit when they’re wrong. They lambast their partners or friends for calling them out and constantly justify their shitty behavior or turn it around and blame you (i.e., gaslighting).
Obviously, that’s not good either. Neither of these extremes is good. The key is to be in the middle. Just because someone is upset with you doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It could be a them issue and not a you issue. Conversely, sometimes you do fuck up and need to own up to your behavior and change it.
In 2024, I’m working on deciphering whether I actually did something wrong, need to apologize, and change my behavior or whether this is a them issue. When it’s a them issue, I won’t be a dick about it. But I will calmly stand up for myself instead of acquiescing, apologizing, and feeling guilty.
Exciting Projects in 2024
Fiction
Okay, some of the projects aren’t official just yet, so I can’t share details, but here’s what I can share: Your boy is moving into fiction. Hopefully, I will have a collection of fiction erotica coming out in 2024 and then… perhaps, a queer rom-com featuring a male bisexual lead!
Boyslut in Paperback
Besides that, Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto will be released in paperback in May. Here is a second chance to get on the NYT bestseller list, and again, my offer stands. If I become a NYT bestseller, I will start an OnlyFans with full frontal—hole and pole. Peen, ween, and vageen.
That is all, my fellow slutty angels!!! Happy Holidays and New Year. Here’s to 2024 being a little less crazy than 2023. Cheers!
xoxo,
The Boyslut
Loooooved All Night Pharmacy!