I Broke My Record for Most People I’ve Fucked in a Night
At 14 (to 17) men, I am the ultimate Bathhouse Betty. This essay is part I of II.
I knew it would be a night that lived in infamy because I am a Bathhouse Betty, cousin to Steamroom Sally and sister to Sauna Sammy. It’s honestly a blessing in disguise that New York shut down all of its gay bathhouses years ago because I would never leave them. I would go straight from one to the next, never sleeping, sucking dick and breeding holes until I collapsed from exhaustion. The paramedics would arrive to see my nude corpse covered in cum with a gaped asshole. (Hot.)
So I knew I would lose my goddamn mind that Friday night, the eve before Christmas eve. And I did. Not only was I called “very popular” by one of the hottest men I had seen in my goddamn life (an OnlyFans gay), but I also broke my record for the most men I’ve fucked in a single evening.
Alas, I don’t know exactly how many guys I boned that night. I know it was at least fourteen—which breaks my previous record of ten—though it could have easily been sixteen or seventeen. The thing is, you start to lose count around seven. Guys eight through eleven are a blur, but then you vividly remember the last few guys you hooked up with. I think this follows classic memory recall research, though I’m not sure—I don’t remember counting dicks and bussies in my freshman Intro to Psych course.
When my friend Jayden Woods (NSFW) and I arrived at the bathhouse, which I refuse to name because the staff had to be some of the meanest gay men I’ve met in my life, I was floored by how massive it was. It would be the size of an entire avenue in Manhattan, and there must have been at least fifty private rooms—maybe even a hundred—and that’s on top of all the lockers. So this place could fit at least three hundred disgusting, horny men cruising for cock. (A true paradise.)
(Photo by Matthew Kayman)
Upon entering, you see a fully equipped gym, which has to be the biggest waste of space. Which drunk or high man goes to a gay bathhouse at 3 am to get a good shoulder pump? But beyond the gym, there’s an outdoor hot tub. Inside there are 70s-style communal showers, a steam room, sauna, maze with glory hole slots, and a video room with a raised bed, which you can fuck on while others circle you and jerk off. Then, of course, all the private rooms.
After getting a lay of the land and getting my dicked sucked in one of the glory holes, I decided it was time to stick my dick in an asshole. Don’t get me wrong, I love a glory hole, but I like holding his head down while he sucks my dick. I like the roughness, but you can’t get that with a glory hole.
Fuck 1
I entered the steam room and was hit by a cloud of vapor. I couldn’t see more than a foot in front of me, so I had no sense of how many people were in the room. But I could hear stirs of movement and grunts off in the distance. I kept walking and realized the steam room was divided into sections. Each section had a bench. I sat down, and like a specter, a man emerged through the steam. He saw me—erect, stroking on the bench—and dropped to his knees. Then another man magically appeared and, in an aggressive and effective move, stole my cock. He pushed the other man to the side, lifted his ass cheeks, and sat his ass down on my dick. The gumption. The nerve! The other man, realizing he had lost the mating battle, disappeared into the steam with his tail between his legs.
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