I Made the Birthday Blowbang All About Me Because I'm the Fucking Worst
Don't invite me to your sex parties.
When Jules told me she had a crush on me for over a year, I lost it. “Wait, so we could have been having sex for three hundred and sixty-five days?” I replied, with absolutely zero chill.
Jules is the Girl Next Door personified—a porn fantasy come to life. Her bubbly personality is contagious; you cannot be in a bad mood talking to her. She actually listens when you speak and isn’t just waiting for the moment you breathe to revert the conversation back to herself. And when she laughs at your jokes, you can’t help but feel like the funniest comedian of the twenty-first century.
She’s also drop-dead gorgeous, which, as you know, doesn’t hurt. She has big eyes, a bigger smile, and even bigger tits. Her hair is as soft as her skin, and she can bend like a pretzel—which, again, doesn’t hurt. (Or at least it doesn’t hurt me.)
So when she asked me to partake in her birthday blowbang/bukkake at Hacienda, I was over the moon. (I actually got hard at the mere mention of the scene.)
She told me I’d be given not one but two wristbands, and only those with wristbands could fuck her face. (Her words, not mine.) I love a little slutty VIP experience, so, of course, I jumped at the opportunity.
The night of, I was really horny and in CGM (Cock-Goblin Mode). I impatiently waited for the scene to begin. Finally, the clock struck midnight, and I was told to come downstairs to the play area. In the center of the room, Jules lowered herself onto a mat and out flopped three dicks (mine and two others). Honestly, the perfect number of dicks to start with because she can suck one cock while jerking off the other two. (Math!)
I got hard immediately because I was in CGM, but also because I’m obsessed with blowbangs and bukkake. They hold a special place in my heart because, for years, they were a loophole in my sexuality. I actually write about this briefly in Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto.
“I also gravitated toward categories of porn that were deemed straight but were still very homoerotic, like gangbangs—a fabulous loophole wherein heterosexual sex just so happens to feature fifteen naked dudes with nice cocks. Often, these men would try to stay hard, so they’d be jerking off in the background. Hot! And if their dicks accidentally touched? Chef’s kiss. But hey, there was female supervision. I could cum my face off to a bunch of dudes and still be 100 percent straight!”
To be clear: Watching gangbangs, blowbangs, and bukkakes doesn’t necessarily mean you’re closeted gay or bisexual, but it DEFINITELY did for me. I was there for that gay shit. I was Lisa Simpson.
So I went into a primal state seeing all these dicks beside me getting blown. I wanted to suck and stroke them, too. But this was one of the few—few—times it wasn’t about me, so instead of boxing out Jules to steal her cocks, I pushed her head down on my buddy’s massive schlong. (I’ve played with Jules before and know that when she sucks dick, she sucks mother fucking dick. She wants it rough. Masquera smeared. Spit everywhere. Truly, a woman after my own heart.)
She gagged, and I let her come up for air. She then let out a giggle while biting her lower lip. My God, she was loving it. I pushed her head back down with one hand and wrapped my other hand around her neck. Feeling another man’s hung cock deep in her throat was more than I could handle. I pulled her off his dick and threw her onto her back. I moved her head over the side of the mat, held her hands down beside her, and began face fucking her. She let out gulp after gulp each time I rammed my dick down her throat.
This was when I was bad, doing something I shouldn’t have done. While facefucking Jules, I began sucking my buddy’s cock. While we didn’t negotiate anything prior, this was Jules’ blowbang. It wasn’t my blowbang. Bad Boyslut! But in my defense, she was in a position where she could only service one man. Essentially, I’m the fluffer, I thought to myself. I’m just keeping my buddy hard for Jules. Really, I’m doing the Lord’s work. (I was in denial about being a greedy cock-gobbling whore.)
While gagging on my friend’s cock, Jules was gagging on me—I was making sure of that. I started pushing her up into my cock and holding her there until she howled or let out spit. After two minutes of going to town on her throat, my quads were sore. I also knew I should share her. Other penises were getting dry.
I quickly removed my dick from her mouth and out shot some drool with my cock. I whispered in her ear, “How are you doing?”
With tears running down her face and saliva all over her chin, she looked at me with bright eyes and said, “Incredible.”
After watching me, the other men realized how hard they could go, so they started thrusting with more force. Two other men, both with double wristbands, joined. There were five cocks now. Jules was doing her best to go back and forth between them, but someone had to help, so I got on my knees with her. Really, I was being a Mensch by helping out the birthday girl—or, at least that’s what I told myself.
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