I Made the Yuletide Really Fucking Gay by Getting DP-ed

There’s nothing like going home for the holidays.

By Mickey

The holidays are my favorite time of year: classic recipes, comfy sweaters, making the Yuletide gay...extremely gay.  

This Christmas was different. While I was home in a house packed with siblings, cousins, nephews, and dogs—I didn’t have my boyfriend with me for the first time in nearly a decade. So I was curious to try something I hadn’t done before, even in high school: the anonymous suburban hookup. 

At this point, I’m a pro at city hookups. I can decide to hook up with a man, find a massively hung top on Grindr, and have them in and out of my apartment in an hour. But hometown hookups are different: furtive and logistically complicated. There are more headless torsos on Grindr in the suburbs than in the city—more headless torsos than a Greek statue exhibit at the Met. And driving to sex feels different than walking down Ninth Avenue; it adds a level of intention, danger, and the potential for things to go wrong. 

But I was horny and hadn’t made the Yuletide gay, not even a little homosexual, so I took the risk. I pulled up Grindr to see if anyone was free. With access to the car, I figured I could slip out on a pretext, get a Christmas pounding, and not leave anyone the wiser. 

Once the app loaded, several guys messaged me. One was far away, too far away for me to drive there, but he was the kind of man I liked: muscled, groomed, tall, with big thighs that conveyed how hard he could thrust into me. We talked dirty for a while—I sent my Speedo pics, then my jockstrap pics, then my ass pics, then my ass getting pounded pics. Then I lost interest since it was logistically impossible. 

Another guy was a former high school classmate. I laughed it off. I wasn’t into him, and he wasn’t into me, but it was funny to see someone of ambiguous sexuality from your past in such an unambiguous manner. We’re now Instagram friends. 

Finally, after combing through a virtual forest of torsos, the jackpot: a tall, dark-haired man with warm doe-like brown eyes, a meticulously-shaped beard, and toned arms. I immediately said hi. He immediately said hi back. 

He was in an open relationship, so I asked for more details. It emerged that: 

• He and his partner were looking to play together 

• They had a house about thirty minutes away where they would like to host 

• They are both tops who love sharing a hungry hole

• They need a power bottom who can take big dicks for an extended period, often at the same time 

I have never said yes to anything so fast. I shared all my photos, waiting with bated breath for confirmation. We quickly organized to meet the following evening. To provide legitimacy for my absence, I made plans before my threesome to see some high school friends who lived near(ish) the scene of the future pounding. I coordinated to take the extra car and ensured no gaps in my cover story for the pending debauchery.

After confirming the plans, I did my best to be a good houseguest. I cleaned the dishes by hand; I ran the wash and folded the towels; I walked the dog. All the while, my mind was elsewhere: focused on the feeling of elation growing in the pit of my stomach, a feeling that only comes when you know you’re about to get the shit fucked out of you. 

(Booty of the author)

When I arrived the following evening, I was surprised to see their house looked like a swinger’s pad. A stark contrast to New England’s conservative, snow-covered historic houses, this was straight out of the seventies: tall windows and vast spaces, smooth wooden planks, and cool tiles. They even had a built-in hot tub.

We started with a glass of wine. They resembled their photos: the one I spoke to was taller and willowy with dark hair. His partner was shorter (though taller than I), a bit more fit and filled out, with a sexy blond buzz cut. 

They lounged dangerously with glasses of red wine hovering over a white shag carpet and gazed at each other with the intimacy of a long-term couple. They knew what they were getting into. This wasn’t this first rodeo.

Suddenly, the dark-haired man was close to me, much closer than I realized. I felt a hand on my back and one under my chin, and then he pulled my face up to kiss me. 

I felt another hand on my back and a warm, wet mouth lolling around my neck and collarbone crevices. The shorter blond was behind me, his hands navigating my back and sides. I twisted my head to kiss him, and his partner compensated by taking his turn to kiss my neck. Between the two of them, I truly felt like a special guest star. 

Hands took my wine glass away and undid my belt. Both beautiful men moaned with approval when my tiny red jockstrap was revealed. Quickly, my ass cheeks were being caressed and worshiped, and my sweater was ripped off with the quick fury of desire.  

We were three shirtless, buzzed, horny men who needed to fuck. There was no time to lose. The taller, dark-haired one grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me to my knees. Overcome with desire, I started sucking his cock as his boyfriend pulled my ass cheeks apart and began eating me out. 

I was blissfully, deliriously happy. They spun me around, taking turns getting sucked off and rimming me. The taller one was a rougher rimmer, digging his nails into my ass cheeks and slapping my juicy ass. The shorter one was more tender and attentive, kissing my cheeks all over before slowly yet firmly licking my quivering hole. 

I loved servicing them, being a prop for their sexual gratification—it also didn’t hurt that they had beautiful dicks. The taller, dark-haired one was longer and slightly curved; his head was a glorious mushroom that tickled the back of my throat. The shorter blond one’s dick was girthy, veiny, and pulsed with desires as my fingers ran down the silky shaft—a perfect combination. 

Curved Dick (CD) pulled me to my feet, finished taking off his clothes, and grabbed me by the wrist. He dragged me toward the bedroom, took me by the neck, and pushed my face down onto the bed so that he could rim me better. I heard Girthy and Veiny (GV) enter the room and felt his hands around my face, pushing himself further down my throat. I choked gleefully. Giving head while getting rimmed is a dream position, my happy place. And these men were keeping me there. 

It was the longest rimming experience of my life thus far. They didn’t just want to lick my ass or eat it; this was ass worship of the highest order. And I was their God for tonight. My cheeks were kissed and caressed; my taint licked and nipped. My hips were pulled back into their faces with a desperate, aching need. Every time I came up for air, I was pushed down and serviced again. Their lips met over my asscheeks. They passed me between them like old pros, horny and excited, slobbering over and into my taint. 

GV held out a bottle of poppers for me while CD lubed his dick up. I was ready. GV bit his lip, eyes gleaming, as he watched his partner enter my wet, willing hole. I grabbed the bedsheets with my hands, bracing myself so he could start pounding. Since he was taller, he could tower over my exposed, glistening back as his curved dick smashed into my prostate. I gasped. 

“Fuck, I want a turn,” GV said, excitedly jacking off as his boyfriend pounded into me. His partner pulled out, kissed him, and handed him the lube. CD came around, jacking off his wet dick, and watched intently as GV started to stretch me out. He was much girthier than I realized, and I knew he was girthy. I heard my hole stretching as I took deep breaths (and several more hits of poppers, lovingly administered by CD).

They took turns fucking me, and I settled into the rhythm of matching their top energies. Interestingly, GV, the gentler rimmer, was the rougher top. CD, whose tongue had gently caressed my hole, was the rougher top, slamming into me, balls deep, while wrapping his hand around my neck. And because their dicks were so different, so distinct—and they kept shifting me between face-up and face-down—something incredible occurred as I was getting fucked: I felt my essence leave my body. The fucking was so good that all I could feel was the glorious shifting sensations of pleasure. The only thing I could process was the present, a time of carnal desire being fulfilled and limits (and my hole) being stretched.

“I can feel your hole pulsing,” CD whispered, pushing himself further into me. He held the poppers under my nose, and I took another hit, relaxing further into my pleasure, taking him all the way to his balls. GV watched from across the bed, jacking himself off and grinning. 

“I want to take you both. At the same time,” I whispered. The thrill of taking their awesome dicks, the poppers, and the excitement of being the center of attention had consumed me. I wanted to stretch myself as far as my body would allow. 

So we did. 

CD lay down on the bed, supine, his erect dick throbbing. I squatted over him, guided it into me, and then relaxed with my chest forward. Glistening beads of sweat from our chests pooled together. 

GV came from behind, inserting one finger—then two into my hole. I gasped slightly, and CD grabbed my face. 

“Breathe,” he said. “Stay still.”

GV teased my hole with the tip of his head. I felt the pressure inside me release, and I knew I was ready.

He pushed forward slowly, his girthy cock sliding slowly, neatly, on top of his partner’s curved shaft. I felt myself widen, reshaping to take both of their glorious, enormous cocks. 

“FUCK!” I screamed. The feeling of transcending my own existence came back as GV thrust into me, his shaft rubbing against his partner’s and my willing, gaping hole. I felt so filled (with pride) that I was taking these two dicks at once. Our bodies were in rhythmic harmony, and a spasm of pleasure passed between the two men, with my hole as the conduit. The warmth was like fire, the friction of colliding dicks exploding into a burning passion that set my entire body ablaze. As one, we were consumed by our ecstasy. Kisses adorned my neck and face. Hands wrapped around my throat and caressed my pecs before squeezing my hips. I was compressed between them as they kissed passionately over me.

In a rush of gushing fluids, I felt them filling me with their loads at the same goddamn time. They gasped, and we collapsed into a pile as a sea of cum leaked out onto the taller one’s stomach. Panting, we disentangled our limbs and laughed as sweat, cum, and lube spread across the sheets. 

My legs were not immediately responsive to brain commands. It took a few minutes before I could sit upright. CD brought me a glass of water. GV  stroked my arm with two fingers as I slowly returned to Earth. As my body settled and my heart rate returned to non-threesome levels, I got dressed and went on my way. We kissed and made plans for an encore after the holidays. 

On the drive home, I put on the stereo. Mariah’s ubiquitous Christmas tune blasted from the speakers. I couldn’t help but laugh. Was taking two suburban strangers’ loads simultaneously all I wanted for Christmas this year?? Unclear, though it was a glorious gift to receive. All I know is that annual double penetration was my new preferred tradition for making the Yuletide Gay.