Within 24 Hours of Being at Hedo, I Had an Outrageous MMMFFF in the Orgy Hut
The thing is, you get stupidly horny when you're surrounded by 200 completely naked strangers in a pool.
I wrote about my extremely bisexual experience at Hedonism II for Men’s Health, but I wasn’t able to delve into graphic, sexual detail. Luckily, I have the zine to get aggressively horny.
NSFW ILLUSTRATION BELOW! (DON’T SCROLL DOWN WITH YOUR BOSS BEHIND YOU.)
The nude pool at Hedo is where the action is. Every day, from two to five p.m., around two hundred people congregate butt-ass naked in the pool for unabashed debauchery.
While I’ve been to countless sex parties, I’ve never been in a mixed-gender space with this many people in their birthday suits. (Gay male sex parties, on the other hand…)
At first, I was overwhelmed. There was just so much to take in, but then I found myself brazenly staring at a particularly pretty cock, massive breasts, or juicy booty, which I suppose was flattering, considering I was in a sea of genitals and bare flesh. Typically, it’s not ideal to be a creep; luckily, plenty of exhibitionists were putting on full-on sex shows, encouraging me to stare.
The moment a guy got hard, he’d sit on the pool deck—his feet still in the water—and a man or woman, still in the water, would suck him tip to base. Or a woman would lie a towel down, and someone would start eating her pussy. Or she’d head to the pool's steps, bend over, and get plowed in a standing doggy. I even saw two folks in the water doing 69, so she was sucking his dick underwater while he was eating her pussy out of the water. That woman must have been a former Olympic swimmer because she held her breath for a solid ninety seconds.
It took a few moments, but after taking in my surroundings, I was no longer overwhelmed. I was just horny—I’m talking teenage boy horny. I was also living for the vibe: an afternoon in the sun with dicks out listening to early 2000s hip hop. I much prefer that to a sex club basement at 2 a.m., where they’re playing the same goddamn sex playlist they’ve been playing for years. (Oh, your sex club has dimly lit red lights and a Saint Andrew’s Cross in the corner? How ~OrIgiNaL~)
Okay, I’m being unnecessarily shady, and I do love basement sex clubs, but you get my point. It’s a lot of the same, and I want some sunshine while I fuck. Give me joy, laughter, and silliness—not all this “intensity” and German electronic music.
But I digress—let me get to the six-some, which all started with Susan, a costume designer with grown children my age.
She was sitting in the corner of the pool, feasting on chicken wings, sucking dem bones dry, when we locked eyes. Susan looked like your high school art teacher who overused the word “whimsical” to describe your still life, which actually looked like shit. In other words, she had long, flowing gray hair and quirky sunglasses. However, unlike your art teacher, her tits were fake and huge (or maybe you had a smokin’ hot art teacher).
I waded over to her corner and asked her how the wings were. “Delicious,” she replied in a sultry smoker’s voice. Well, pull my panties to the side and fuck me sideways because I am a sucker for a woman with a low, gravelly voice. It makes me think this woman has lived a goddamn life. Like she used to have a high-pitched Valley Girl voice (like mine), but time has weathered her. By her voice alone, I knew Susan had seen some shit. She was experienced, and if I played my cards right, she’d rock my world in the sack.
I asked the usual: How many times she’d been to Hedo, how long she’d been in the lifestyle, and who she was here with. She had been to Hedo a handful of times, in the swinger scene for a decade, and was here with her husband, Joseph, who, conveniently, was talking to Alexa, my partner in sexual crime.
I hung to Susan’s every word and wondered if she’d consider reading an Audible Original about a loner detective whose moral compass breaks while diving into the underbelly of the mob world. I would listen to it on repeat.
At long last, there was a lull in the conversation. I took the opportunity to make a move. I inched closer to her. “You are so fucking sexy,” I said.
“You are, too,” she replied coolly.
“Can I kiss you?” Honestly, I’m not sure if she appreciated the ask, but it’s a habit by now.
“Yes,” she responded. I wrapped my arm around her, touching the small of her back, and pulled her closer to me. She was a slow kisser, passionate and deliberate. My hairy chest pressed up against her breasts, floating in the water. I lost myself in our tender kiss, so much so that my cock got hard. I pulled away; it would have been a little aggressive to poke her stomach while we made out.
Despite my best attempt, my dick did touch her side. She looked down, seeing my fat dick. I wasn’t embarrassed, but I didn’t know how to proceed.
Thankfully, Susan took control of the situation. “Let’s fuck,” she said in her sultry voice. It wasn’t an ask but a demand. I almost shot my load right then and there.
We hopped out of the pool together. Her husband asked where we were going. “To the hut to fuck,” she said. “Come join us.”
I looked at Alexa, “Wanna join?” We had been at Hedo for less than 24 hours, and I was throwing her into the ocean without a life jacket. “I’ll come and watch,” she said.
On the way to the orgy hut, which resided beyond the pool, two of Susan’s friends heard our intentions.
“You guys fucking? Can we join?”
“Come on,” Susan said. We were up to six from two.
Like ducks in a row, we marched to the hut. There, we went from zero to sixty sexy in seconds. (It makes sense; we were all already naked.) I straddled Susan and resumed kissing her soft lips. She moaned, and when we broke away to look at one another, she smiled. I must have had the biggest shit-eating grin on my face.
I made my way down her body, kissing her strong neck. I bit her ever so gently before rubbing her full breasts and sucking on her hard nipples. I licked her entire torso before I pressed my tongue flat on her clit, and she let out a loud “Fuck!” I stuck in one finger, and she was drenched—not from the pool, but from arousal.
“I need to fuck you right now,” I said.
“You really do,” she said. I grabbed a condom and surveyed the orgy around me. Joseph was sucking the dick of the third man, Bob, while Bob was aggressively fingering his redheaded wife. Alexa vouyered from the sidelines. “You good?” I asked as I slid the condom on my cock. She gave me a thumbs up.
I slowly inserted my dick, loosening Susan up. “Holy shit!” she said. I grabbed the sides of her hips and pushed her pelvis into me so that she could take all of my cock.
“Oh, you feel good,” she said before letting out a hearty laugh.
“So you do you,” I replied.
I locked my arms by her side, assumed a plank position, and began thrusting.
“Yesssss,” she said. “Fuck me, Zach.” I loved the way my name sounded in her voice.
I started with slow thrusts, but when she grabbed my ass and pushed me into her pussy, I knew she wanted it hard and fast. So I gave her what she wanted.
“Fuckkkkk,” she said one final time before Joseph put his cock in her mouth.
Susan was having trouble multitasking. I get it. It’s hard to get pounded and deepthroat at the same time. So I took over sucking his cock, just inches from her face.
Illustration by ri.place
“That’s hot,” she said. I did my thing (i.e., unhinged my jaw and swallowed him whole). Susan started playing with her clit while I fucked her. “I’m going to cum,” she said and clenched her pussy with such force she nearly snapped my dick off.
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