I Had Every Hole Destroyed in an MMMFFF at a Post-Apocalyptic Birthday Sex Party
I came straight from a baby shower to the Thunderdome.
I was at a post-apocalyptic birthday sex party because of course I was at a post-apocalyptic birthday sex party. I was not going to miss this party for the world. I actually came straight from a friend’s baby shower in Philidelphia to the venue in Manhattan. Initially, I wasn’t in the correct headspace for sexy (and deadly) shenanigans. Opening presents of baby onesies and fighting to the death in the Thunderdome occupy different parts of my brain.
But once at the venue—where I stripped down from my family-friendly attire (i.e., button-down shirt and assful jeans) and replaced it with slutty Mad Max leather (i.e., no shirt, assless chaps, combat boots, and bracelets)—I was ready to engage with my fellow body-thirsty heathens.
Before I knew whom I would be doing—I already knew what I would be doing. Multiple St. Andrew’s crosses were scattered throughout the large playroom, but one directly in the center was a double—meaning two people could be shackled and whipped simultaneously. They could, if limber enough, even kiss ever so gently in the middle while getting flagellated.
While I’m by no means a pain slut or masochist—I am a man of comfort and leisure—I am heavily influenced by my surroundings. So when I’m in Rome, I do as the Romans do. And when I’m in the Thunderdome, I get walloped until my flesh is red and hot.
(A previously unreleased image of me alongside my co-star, Tina Turner, starring in the 1985 sci-fi classic Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.)
When Ana (NSFW) walked in, I knew she would be the key to turning my fantasy into a reality. For weeks now, Ana and I had tried to connect after initially meeting at another play party. But our schedules never aligned. So here, in this undefined layer of hell, it was kismet.
When our eyes met, we both knew we were fucking. There was no quesiton of that. The question was how. From our previous conversations, I knew Ana was kinky. And while I’m not necessarily the kinkiest, I get ravenously horny and greedy. I need everyone and everything to be inside all of my holes.
When Ana suggested we recruit others to complete a BDSM scene on the double St. Andrew’s Cross, it was like she was reading my mind.
The recruiting process was simple. Ana asked her partner Seamus (NSFW), a Tom of Finland sketch come to life. The bisexual heartthrob had a luscious pornstash, and the mere thought of Seamus brushing through it with a baby comb makes me painfully erect. He had all the other exaggerated features Tom depicted in his art, too, including cut abs, cum gutters, and a mighty horse cock. Looking at him evoked both arousal and anger. How dare he look like that? How dare he have it all when the rest of us are lucky to have just one part of our body blessed?
But it makes sense. Ana is a goddess herself. She was dubbed as having the “best natural busty body” on OnlyFans by Playboy. Playboy said she has the best natural tits of all the women on OnlyFans in 2021, when OF was oversaturated with everyone and their mothers releasing content. Playboy, of course, is correct. There’s something about her rack that makes my brain go primal. Frankly, I believe her titties can turn a gay man straight (or, at the very least, curious to tittyfuck).
But to diminish her to just a pair of tits would be unjust. Not because there’s anything wrong with consensual objectification—but because Ana is the whole package. I find her attitude toward sex to be the most alluring. The way she calmly speaks about her sexual desires, the debaucherous evenings she’s had, and her yearning for more pleasure make me want to tag along with her. Anyone who encourages me to be sluttier by sharing their own sexual experiences is a winner in my book.
In addition to the power couple, we recruited Dirty Blonde Tea, whom I’ve played with on multiple occasions. Her OnlyFans (NSFW) bio describes her better than I ever could: “Just a dirty blonde nympho switch w[ith] a hungry throat [and] a butt full of stardust on a pair of stilts.”
Of course, my gorgeous partner Kassie was more than down to join, too. (She enjoys seeing me experience pleasure even more than I enjoy it myself.) Towering over the crowd with 6-inch stripper heels and a tight ponytail that fell past her bubbly butt, she made every head stop and turn at the party.
Last but certainly not least, we recruited Mars, the host of the evening—a rugged, sexy bear of a man—who’s best known for his flogging capabilities.
We capped it at six. After all, Ana and I only have so many holes between the two of us.
(An image of me from the evening.)
After being strapped to the St. Andrew’s cross, I ended up on my tippy toes. I’m not sure how, as I’m a giant at 6’4, and we didn’t move the pink leather cuffs higher to strap me in. Perhaps it was my excitement. I couldn’t stay planted. Or a subconscious desire to tilt my ass up, granting Mars the ability to spank the meat of it.
But he didn’t start by beating me. He began with Ana—and I had the best view in the house—mere inches from her face and body. Mars draped the cat o' nine tails carefully over her back, and I saw the lips of her mouth curl upward. She knew what was to come. She wasn’t just ready for it; she was craving it. Mars flicked his wrist in a circular motion, and the whip cracked on Ana’s meaty ass. She didn’t wince, moan, or even breathe. This seemed like child’s play to her. With the palm of his free hand, he began smacking her inner thighs and ass, warming up the area.
I tried to kiss Ana. We were face-to-face, after all, but our lips were an inch out of reach. Seamus saved the day by bringing a double-edged dildo, and we began sucking. Nearly meeting in the middle, but never quite.
Sucking the dildo with Ana’s tits in my face and the sounds of her body being smacked made my dick shoot straight up. Kassie got her knees in the free space between Ana and me and started sucking on my dick.
Kassie is a better dick sucker than me. You would think this would make me happy, but it brings me zero joy. I have no compersion. I seethe with jealousy that she’s better than me. Sucking dick is my thing. How dare she show me up when we share a bi man’s cock together? (I’m joking…kinda.)
But when she sucks my dick, my jealousy is replaced with awe. The way she can unhinge her throat and take any dick—and without gagging? Truly miraculous. A sight to behold and even better to experience.
On her knees, Kassie sucked me while Ana and I sucked the 18-inch translucent purple dick together. Kassie took all of me with ease while Ana and I gagged on the Grimace’s thick dick.
I wanted Mars to start smacking me, but alas, he is only one man and was focused on Ana. I would never interrupt a Dom mid-scene. So I asked Dirty Blonde Tea, who was feet away, taking in the scene, if she could put something up my ass.
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