This week: The “new normal,” remaining friends with exes, and “bad” visibility.
I hate the phrase the “new normal.” What you’re describing is change. Whatever used to be the norm, no longer is. It evolved, grew, adapted—something. But people don’t like change. Change is scary. Simply mentioning the word is scary. So we instead describe something as the “new normal” to avoid admitting the truth: What we had is forever gone, and we’re stuck with something different.
This new normal will eventually change leaving us with a new, new normal. What was considered normal two iterations ago will now be considered old—yet another unpleasant word. Few of us are comfortable admitting that our way of life (or our very being) is old.
According to the Gays™, I’m going to be old, ancient even, when I turn 30 next year. But that’s another story.
I’ve found myself finally adjusting to ~the new normal~ (pretend that’s strikethrough) change brought on by the pandemic. It was difficult. I hate the fact that I’m not going to see my family who lives in Los Angeles for the foreseeable future. I’m not willing to take the risk of accidentally killing my grandma, who’s 89, or my father, who’s the nadir of health. I’m already paying a fortune for therapy, and can’t add this burden to my laundry list of issues. I’m also not thrilled that at a time I’ve decided I’m going to be more open to dating new people, I can’t really meet new people. Or I can, but not necessarily in the manners I prefer.
But I’m adapting. I call and Facetime my family more than I ever have. And I’m figuring out new ways to date and get to know people. I think I’ve been able to do this because I’ve admitted that what humanity is experiencing right now isn’t a new normal, but change. If I am going to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled living in this world, I’m going to have to change with it.
I have a bunch of cool shit I’m working on for nexttttt month—lots of bi content as Bisexual Awareness Week is September 16-23. I’m actually going to be doing a ton of bi content specifically for Men’s Health, which I’m particularly excited for. So this week, I’m going to pull some of my fav pieces from the vault. I’ve recently reconnected with a few of my exes, so wanted to share this piece I wrote a while back for The Washington Post.
This piece I initially titled, “I’m a Bisexual Stereotype Whose Job Is to Dispel Bisexual Stereotypes,” but the editor changed it. This piece speaks to our need to be more honest when it comes to mainstream depictions of the LGBTQ community.
Your fav Boyslut,
Zach