This week: Thoughts on bi visibility, what constitutes “safe sex” during COVID, and when to lie about being a cheating bastard.
It’s here: Bisexuality Awareness Month. That’s right, we get an entire month now. It started as Bisexuality Awareness Day (September 23), 21 years ago. (BAD can officially drink this year!) Then a few years back, Sept 16-23 became Bisexuality Awareness Week (#BiWeek). But now, being the greedy bisexuals we are, we get the entire, freakin’ month.
And you know what? We deserve it. Especially since we spend the rest of the year erased, mocked, or told we’re not real. (Bitch, I am standing, right here.)
I would like to say something I find frustrating about visibility, though. Sometimes, when we talk about visibility—bisexual or otherwise—we hail it as a panacea. We make it seem like if your community is visible, all your problems will disappear. Do not get me wrong, visibility is crucial, and boy, would I have benefited from any male bisexual content a dozen years ago, at the height of my sexual confusion. But I would like to iterate that visibility is the first step—a much needed first step—but a first step nonetheless. Visibility doesn’t mandate tolerance. It doesn’t necessitate acceptance. Visibility just means we’re here. We’re real.
And that’s the bare fucking minimum.
However, given that in 2020 people still don’t believe bisexuals are real, visibility remains crucial. But I hope that soon we get to a point where people don’t just believe we’re real, they also accept us, want to date us, and embrace us.
Alright, but enough with me putting a downer on OUR month. Let’s celebrate. Let’s be bi, pan, fluid, or whatever the fuck you want.
My hope this month and beyond is that we begin to create physical bi spaces. (Maybe not ideal during COVID…) I want to take the bi community off of Twitter and into bars. Fuck, I want a bi bar so badly. Maybe when the pandemic is contained, I can work on creating one. (Forewarned: There WILL be a dark room.)
All my new bi content will come out during #Biweek, but remember, I have the master list of bi articles that I compiled for a previous Boyslut. You can check that out here.
I wrote a piece that just came out about what constitutes “safe sex” during a pandemic. We’ve seen the CDC guidelines, but let’s be real, we’re all playing by our own rules. I found it interesting that no one thinks they’re being unsafe, even if they’re fucking four new people a week. I don’t say this judgementally. Everyone has their reasons and rationale. And for the most part, I respect it.
Also, my guardian angel and editor, Jordyn Taylor, said this was the cleanest copy yet I’ve had for a Sexplain It. This has nothing to do with you, but I’m proud, so I’m sharing. Also, I provide some CONTROVERSIAL advice. I recommended a guy who cheated on his wife during COVID lie about it...
Last but not least, I did a Sexplain It Live with the surprisingly nerdy Kenneth Play. I’ve heard so much about this guy and thought he would be a fraud or Dbag or something. Not at all! I think the term “Sex Hacker” threw me off, but all that means is he actually puts in the time to explore, reflect, try new techniques, and approach sex from a scientific lens, which is VERY helpful. We stan!
Here’s an abridged transcription if that’s more your speed.
Happy Bi Month!!!
Your fav Boyslut,
Zachary “Self-Proclaimed Bicon” Zane