Chess Is Like Sex, But Not Always in a Good Way
BOYSLUT ISSUE 25: Chess, sex, and that fucking dude who's like, "But why isn't there a White History Month?"
The cat’s out of the bag. If you saw my fleet—still not over the fact that there wasn’t a single gay in Twitter’s boardroom to let them know that’s not what “fleeting tweets” should be called—you now know I’m a big old nerd who plays chess in my glasses. Probably not the biggest surprise. I like to think I exude some hot nerd qualities. (I know, I kinda wedged “hot” right in there.) I think my sex education constitutes nerdiness. I also think being passionate and wanting to know everything about a specific topic is nerdy. Also, it’s hot. Being passionate both in and outside the bedroom is sexy.
(Also, whoever buys me this Nintendo chess set will get a personalized video of me naked thanking you.)
I’ve been playing chess on and off for years. I’ll get really into it for a year or so, and then, for one reason or another, I end up losing interest. A year later, I will rekindle my love, and the pattern repeats. This time, I, like many others, got back into after watching Queen’s Gambit on Netflix. (That show is fucking fantastic, and you should check it out!)
I’ve been reflecting on why I like chess as much as I do. Yes, it is a fun game that you can never master. And it feeds my ego because I get to be like, “LOOK AT ME. I PLAY CHESS GOOD. I SMARTY PANTS.” But I’ve realized those are the minor reasons why I like playing chess. The real reason is that chess is like sex.
Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be some heavy-handed BDSM metaphor about fighting for power with your partner. Neither is it going to be a list of chess sex puns. (Got to know which position to put the queen, know what I’m saying, boys?)
Chess, like sex, is a mind cleanser. Both require a level of concentration that forces me to focus on it and only it. When I’m having sex, I really try to be present in the moment. Not thinking about money troubles, whether or not I’ll have health insurance in 2021, and family drama. (Some family members tested positive for COVID this past week. They had moderate symptoms, but all pulled through just fine!)
With chess, I forget about all that for 20 sweet minutes. I quickly drop into that focused mind space. Chess demands that level of attentiveness. So too does sex. But if I’m being honest, I don’t always have the level of focus I want to with my partners. My brain is wandering, especially in the beginning. But usually, I do get there. I stop thinking about all of life’s stressors and can be present in the moment, especially when I orgasm.
But sometimes, this all becomes an issue. In the past, I’ve pursued sex to alleviate my anxiety and to have those “fleeting” moments of a clear head, where I’m not spiraling down an anxious loop. Just last year, when I was 22, I had a perceptive partner who called me out on it. She said, “I can tell when you have sex to distract yourself, and when you’re having sex because you want to connect with me.” Now I don’t think every single time needs to be a bonding, loving-making session. But at the same time, my partner didn’t want to be used as a human Fleshlight (unlike 99% of the boys I fuck from Grindr) Extremely fair. Sex should be pleasurable for both partners, obviously.
So now, when I’m anxious, instead of hopping on Grindr to find a hole (something that I’ve had to cut out with COVID), I play chess. And honestly, a good comeback win feels almost as good as cuming.
Ohhhhhhh bitch. When I got this Sexplain It question in my work email, I fucking GAGGED. I have a policy of not answering questions sent to my email. (USE THE GOOGLE FORM, YOU DUMB SLUTS!) But this question was too damn good to pass up. This guy really thinks he’s being persecuted for being vanilla sexually. Due to an increase in articles about kink, BDSM, and ENM, he believes that literally everyone is kinky AF. (It’s like dude, I wish, but this is not the case.) After reading his question, I was like, “This dude DEFINITELY asks why there isn’t a White History Month.”
I love Sexplain Its when I get to the call reader an asshole, and I had the pleasure of tearing this man a new one, so yes, read it!
Also, for MVP I did another 20 questions. (If you haven’t read the first one with yours truly, read it first. You’ll get to know me really well. A little too well, if I’m being candid.) This time, I did 20 questions with Daniel Saynt. He created and runs the sex club New Society For Wellness (NSFW—get it? GET IT?), which I write about a bunch. His stories are fucking wild. Worth reading just for the sheer gaggery of it all.
This week is Thanksgiving. I may take this upcoming weekend off, or, I may use my off time to do some more real-life erotic. TBD. Either way, have an incredible Thanksgiving and stay safe. (I’m sadly not seeing my best friend’s family this year for the first time in a decade because I’m a higher COVID risk. So staying my ass put! Send nudes to cheer me up. But only good ones. No weird half chubs. Ass pics, titty pics, and fully erect pics ONLY.)
XOXO,
Your fav Boyslut
Zachary Zane