I Had the Most (Incredible) Bisexual Sex of My Life Saturday Night at BFF (Part I)
I had three separate orgies f*cking a total of six women, three guys, and one nonbinary cutie.
Original illustration by Tara Savelo
I wrote about my Thursday night at BFF (Bisexual Fuck Fest) here. I recommend reading that piece before diving dickfirst into this one. Additionally, I’m using footnotes for this piece. If you’ve read my memoir, you know that I LOVE a good footnote.
The Saturday night of BFF was the final hurrah, and you could feel the anticipatory, sexual energy in the air. Eye contact was a little stronger. Hugs lingered a little longer. Cocks were harder, and pussies were wetter. Like on the last night of summer camp, everyone was trying to literally squeeze in people they hadn’t yet boned. [1]
I’m not going to bury the lede: I had sex with ten different people Saturday evening, totaling five hundred years of wisdom if I summed their ages. Somehow, each sexual experience was memorable—special even. Given the hundreds of Grindr hookups I’ve had in my illustrious slutty career that were not memorable—in fact, many I purposefully deleted from the recesses of memory banks—this says a lot.
Yes, we were fucking like Judgment Day was upon us, and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were going to burst through the desert sky and ship the lot of us to hell, but we weren’t just using each other as sex objects. There was an intimacy amidst the carnality that started with Pamela and Theodore at 7:45 pm. [2]
Pam and Theo were that couple—the ones everyone wanted to fuck because they were disgustingly attractive. Too hot for words. Pam looked like every single stepmom in a Brazzers’ video: Long blonde hair and full melon breasts with legs longer than the Great Wall of China. Her husband of over two decades, Theo, with his long curly hair, gave Daddy Yogi vibes. He looked like a dude who’d be multi-orgasmic (and he was).
Pam and Theo scheduled a time to fuck two friends of mine, who I’m going to simply call Neurtoic Big-Tittied Jewess (NBTJ) and Vegan Pizza (VP). NBTJ is a NBTJ whom I love dearly because I am an NFDJ (Neurotic Fat-Dicked Jew). She invited a friend of hers, an extremely queer, vegan themboy who wore crops revealing his cum cutters.
I asked NBTJ if I could get in on the fun. She texted Theo, who replied, “Oh, definitely. Zach and Eve are hot!” [3]
At 7:45 pm, we arrived at Pam and Theo’s suite (aka the Pamtheon). The vibe was immaculate—dimmed lights with a range of BDSM gear splayed out on the hotel cuck chair. Their playlist consisted of Rihanna, Cardi B, and Megan Thee Stallion, whereas the night before, Eve and I fucked a couple to “Hey There Delilah.” [4] The Pamtheon had its own bar, filled with top-shelf liquors, despite an open bar with free liquor. [5]
Eve and I arrived before NBTJ and VP. Theo offered us a drink, and Pam suggested we all get naked and dance together to start.
An erotic nude dance with subtle touching, breasts bouncing, and dicks swinging? I was very into it. I also appreciated not getting right down to business. The night was young, and so was half the room.
I gravitated toward Theo and his hairless body. Eve gravitated to Pam. While I love a hairy ape of a man, I also can’t help but caress a smoothly waxed gent. I prefer extremes—honestly, in all aspects of my life.
We hugged as we danced, our chests and dick pressed against each other. As we rocked back and forth, our penises grew, poking each other until we were both at full-mast. I grabbed his smooth ass cheek with one hand and his dick with the other. He let out a heavy sigh.
He licked his fingers and wrapped his palm around my cock.
“You are thick,” he said. I smiled back at him. “Fuck, I want you inside me.”
“Oh, fuck yeah,” I replied. [6]
Theo plopped onto the mattress in a tabletop position, with his ass hanging over the bed. I grabbed the lube on the nightstand, oiled up, and stuck it in.
“I thought we were dancing first?” Pam asked. “What happened?”
“Okay, this is his fault. He asked first!” I answered like a child who quickly throws his older brother under the bus when the two get in trouble.
By now, my dick had taken the wheel. It had a mind of its own and was thrusting away without my knowledge. It didn’t help that Theo was a power bottom. A dick drainer. A cock crusader. So he knew how to back that ass up on my dick and squeeze his hole right where my head meets the shaft. Neither of us was stopping anytime soon, and neither would apologize for our behavior.
“For the Love of God,” Eve said, laughing.
I reached over Theo and tweaked his perky, little nips. He let out a moan.
“Fuck, that’s it. Take this cock,” I said.
The door opened, and NBTJ and VP entered.
“Oh, you’ve already started,” NBTJ said with a hint of judgment.
“You were late! I will not apologize,” I replied but decided to stop fucking Theo momentarily, despite his protests.
After all, the night was still young, and so were two-thirds of the room.
The two of us returned to dancing while NBTJ and VP began undressing into something more comfortable. Pam poured them both a drink while Theo and I waited with the patience of rabid raccoons.
The dancing started again, and I made sure to mingle with everyone. I kissed Pam before stroking VP’s dick. I complimented NBTJ’s BTs and gave Eve a smack on the ass. I was invoking my celebrity doppelgänger, Bradley Cooper in Maestro, attempting to conduct an orchestra of bodies. [7]
The dancing didn’t last long. I began kissing Pam, letting my hand roam from her breasts to her pussy. I felt inside her, and she was drenched.
“You’re ready to go,” I said.
“Right? She gets soooo wet,” Theo said, his bright eyes wide.
“Shall we get on the bed?” I asked. She nodded, and I grabbed VP by the hand. (Let us not forget, I was conducting this orgy and wanted to make sure everyone felt included and empowered to jizz their goddamn faces off.)
Pam lay on her back, and I crawled on her side. VP took the other side. Pam kissed very slowly and deeply. It was like she was Ursula, only instead of stealing my voice, she was sucking out my soul. Though, I would have given it to her willingly.
I kissed down her neck to her breasts and began sucking her hard nipples. Pam purred and arched her back, and I headed further south. I licked between her pussy lips, and she opened for me. I prodded my tongue in and out of her wet cunt while circling her clit with one hand and jacking off VP with the other.
VP and Pam kissed above me, and I felt VP grow. He had an unsuspectingly nice cock—cut with a pink head. I started sucking on his cock while fingering Pam. She was wet. He was throbbing. The time had come.
“I think you two should fuck,” I orchestrated.
“Yeah?” VP asked.
“Oh yeah,” Pam replied. I scooched out of the way and VP-mounted Pam. He slid in with ease and let out a long "Ooohhhh.”
VP’s ass was now prominently displayed in the air. I spat directly on his hole and massaged my saliva into him. He was tight, so I pulled out. I didn’t want to draw focus away from him fucking Pam. I lubed up my fingers and gently massaged his rim while he thrusted into Pam.
Meanwhile, NBTJ was lying on her back, and Eve was feasting on her pussy. Theo was behind Eve, fucking her in doggy style. He marveled as Eve’s massive ass rippled with each thrust.
Our collective moans began drowning out Cardi B [8], and the bed shook each time VP’s balls smacked against Pam. I feared the queen bed wouldn’t be able to hold our weight, but lord knows I wasn’t going to stop and check the box springs.
My dick ached. I was so erect—so filled with blood—it literally could not move. It was standing at salute, ready to serve.
I hovered over Pam’s face, and she opened her mouth wide. VP continued to hit her with slow deep strokes while she bobbed her head up and down on my cock. I grabbed her tits as they bounced and kissed VP.
I could tell my dick was just too hard for that angle. It needed some give if it would make its way down her throat. I pulled my dick out of her mouth.
“Can I?” I looked back and forth between Pam and VP, unsure who I should be asking.
“Of course!” VP said, removing himself.
I turned my attention to Pam. “I’ve been waiting for you,” she cooed.
I straddled her and bent over—our eyes just inches apart. I slowly entered her.
“Mmmm,” she moaned. I pressed my forehead to hers and swooped my hips to get extra deep in her cunt.
“Mhmhmmmm,” she moaned louder. I grabbed her ass—as smooth as her husband’s—and thrusted with a little more force. Each time, I would hold my dick inside of her and flex. I wanted her to feel all of me.
Our kisses came naturally like we had made out thousands of times before. Our tongues effortlessly intertwined. I clenched my asshole and started thrusting harder—I wanted to see her squirm with pleasure.
She let out another loud moan.
“That’s my baby,” I said.
She opened her eyes, glaring. “I’m not your baby. I’m a grown-ass woman.”
I quickly course-corrected. “Yes, you are. A grown-ass woman who loves taking cock.”
“Yeah, I am,” she said, her face softening, returning to pleasure.
“Such a good cock whore,” I replied. [9]
“Fuck yes, give me that cock.” That’s all I needed to hear. I turned my internal engine on, fired up my glutes, and fucked her with the power of five hundred horses.
Her moaning crescendoed, and I was at full volume, shouting expletives that would make a sailor blush. Sweat dripped past my chin and onto her face. My body felt like it was on fire—a combination of pleasure and physical exhaustion.
Eventually, I asked for a break. I didn’t want to be a pussy hog, but I also wanted something in my ass.
I orchestrated a switcheroo.
Eve was now riding VP cowgirl while Pam and NBTJ 69’ed beside them. This left very little room for Theo to get up in my bussy, but where there’s a will, there’s a way.
I put one knee on the side of the bed and slid my chest down so it was flush with the mattress. I bent my standing knee and spread my hairy cheeks.
“You know, I’ve never topped a man,” he said sheepishly. [10]
“Well, that’s about to change,” I replied. “Let’s get on in there.” [11]
Theo lubed up his cock, and tried to stuff it in. “Hold on, big boy,” I said, grabbing the base of his cock and pulling him out. “You’re my first dick of the night. Also, poppers.”
He handed me a bottle, and I inhaled. The warmth flooded my insides, and my hole relaxed.
“All right, I’m ready,” I replied. I took him this time, but not for long. My asshole was not being corporative, the angles weren’t working, and he was losing his erection.
“Fuck this!” I said. “Get on your stomach. I’m going to fuck you.” I threw him onto the bed, and he assumed the position on his hands and knees. My dick was aching for his hole.
I grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed his ass into my cock. “Take that dick,” I said. “Yes, Zach,” he replied submissively. “You like this thick cock?” I replied. “Yes, Zach.” This went on for quite some time until I tapped out first.
“Okay, I need some water,” I said. I headed over to the bar to grab some water and handed Eve a glass as she continued bouncing on VP’s cock.
NBTJ was still buried in Pam’s pussy, but hers was not getting any attention. Eve pointed it out. “Why is no one fucking NBTJ? Her pussy is out!”
“On it!” I replied. [12] I chugged the rest of my water and planted myself behind NBTJ. I licked my fingers and inserted them inside her to see if she needed more warming up or was ready to go.
You’d have thought NBTJ was an ancient Grecian goddess bathing in olive oil because she was that slippery.
“Oh, fuck yeah,” I said. “Do you want this cock now?”
“Absolutely,” she replied.
Pam scooted backward to get a better view. So when I went to insert myself, Pam’s face was right underneath my cock. I grabbed onto NBTJ’s booty cheeks and slid my dick inside her.
“Shit, you are thicker than last time,” she said. “Damn, you’re really thick now!” [13]
“Do we like?” I asked.
“Yeah, I feel so full.”
I plunged deep into her pussy. “Yes, just like that,” she cried.
I started slowly with deep thrusts but got too turned on—the beast inside took over, and I was ravenous, plowing while NBTJ shouted. All the while, Pam’s face was just inches away, staring at my dick as it stretched out NBTJ’s pussy.
I felt a tingle in my groin, the makings of a pleasure bomb that would shortly consume my entire body—but I didn’t want to cum yet. These BFFers were insatiable. And while the rest of them could cum and be ready to go two minutes later, I know my body. If I came, I’d be out for the count.
I pulled out of NBTJ’s pussy and asked for Theo to take over. He did so gleefully.
After more hydration (and I may or may not have put a few ice cubes on my dick to help reset my body), it was time to fuck VP. We hadn’t had an intimate moment yet.
VP was so sweet and thoughtful—always asking questions because he genuinely wanted to get to know people on a deeper level. There was something about him being so kind—so genuine—that made me want to destroy him.
It reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Fight Club:
“That Saturday night, a young guy with an angel’s face came to his first fight club, and I tagged him for a fight. I was in a mood to destroy something beautiful . . . Tyler told me later that he'd never seen me destroy something so completely.”
So I tagged VP for a fuck. He stood beside the bed and bent over, resting his elbows on the mattress. I grabbed some lube and drizzled it onto his crack. I pushed the lube inside him and then stroked my cock.
He was tight—good. You can’t destroy a loose hole. I circled my head around his rim and told him to take a deep breath.
I pushed just my head inside of his ass. “Fuck!” he shouted. “More lube. I pulled out and generously applied more on my cock and his hole.
“Ready?” I asked. He took another deep breath and nodded. I slid half of myself in this time. “Stop!” he shouted. I stopped. “Breathe, you still got a few more inches,” I said.
“You are so goddamn thick,” he cried. I didn’t reply. “Okay,” he said. “More.” I got my last few inches in, and he yelped. I pulled out. “You did it!” (I’m not sure how encouraging my words of encouragement were.)
I added more lube because now it was time to actually start fucking. I held VP’s hips and started thursting. “That feel good, baby?” I asked. “Oh my God,” he replied. I couldn’t see his eyes in doggy style, but I knew they were popping out from their sockets. I let that hole have it: hard, deep thrusts. His pain blended with euphoria. My sadist was out, and I relished destroying something beautiful.
We fucked for as long as he could take it, which to his credit, was a few minutes. I held him afterward, as aftercare was in order.
We had been at the Pamtheon now for two hours and had been fucking nonstop for one hundred eighteen minutes. It was time to emerge and see the rest of the party.
The night was growing older, and so was I. But so help me, God, I would not miss out fucking the rest of the sexy swingers.
To be continued…
Footnotes
[1] While some attendees stayed until Monday since it was a holiday weekend, many folks left Sunday morning, making Saturday the unofficial “final” evening.
[2] You have to start fucking that early to get the most out of your night.
[3] Sometimes, that’s all it takes.
[4] I still somehow managed to stay hard… kinda… not really.
[5] It’s like, yes, I know there’s free liquor, but it’s all the way over there, and I’m over here.
[6] So much for waiting.
[7] With the prosthetic nose, I look even more like him…
[8] She wasn’t the only person in the room with a WAP.
[9] Even though I was going slightly out on a limb, I thought I was reading the room. That said, if she didn’t like being called “whore,” and I was 0 for 2—that would have been unfortunate.
[10] Gotta love a bi man who tops the ladies but bottoms for the gents.
[11] I really do talk like this during sex. Sorry in advance to any future fucks.
[12] FYI, after fucking an ass, we made sure to wash our dicks thoroughly before putting them in a pussy. I’ve omitted these details as they break up the flow of the story, but please make sure never to double-dip without cleaning first!
[13] I got dick fillers. I will write an entire piece on that soon, answering all your questions.
Upcoming Bisexual Swinger Events:
BFF: If you’re interested in attending future BFF events—they happen twice a year, once in the summer and once in the winter—you’ll have to speak to BFF’s producer, Brad. BFF is a very close-knit community, and they’re very cautious about letting new folks in for both safety and vibe purposes. The way to reach Brad is to make an account on Kasidie and message him. His handle is CUTEONES. (FYI, when you sign up, you get a free one-month trial on Kasidie by listing CUTEONES as your referral.)
BI OUT (Las Vegas May 2-5): I will be attending Bi OUT in Las Vegas. This is another bisexual swingers event, and I am VERY much looking forward to it. (I’ll actually be giving an anal play workshop that ends with attendees putting toys and their cocks inside of me! Get tickets here!)
Just…wow. Wow.