Love Your Mommy and Daddy: I Had Astounding Sex With a Cougar Despite Her Overbearing, Murderous Husband
Worth it.
This essay is part of the “Love Your Mommy and Daddy” series, where writers share times they fucked people their parents’ age. Read the last installment here. If you are interested in submitting, please read the Boyslut zine submission guidelines.
After my positive experience with the sex therapist, I was much more open to “older” women. Or rather, I was more on the prowl for women in their fifties.
I had always loved myself a Mommy, evidenced by consistent searches for MILF porn; I just didn’t know where to find MILFs in real life (beyond that pop-up that reads: “FIND HORNY LONELY WOMEN OVER 50 IN YOUR AREA”).
I learned quickly that if you’re a young, decent-looking man open to fucking middle-aged women, they will find you. Cougars are apex predators, after all. (I also changed the minimum age of my Tinder matches to fifty, so I’m sure that helped.)
I met Charlene at a high-end Mexican joint in Somerville—David Square, to be exact. Her tits were massive and real. I knew they were real well before fucking her because, as she sat down on the barstool, she said, “My tits are real, by the way.”
I, young and inept at handling any social interaction, could not handle this one. I said, “That’s cool.” (I’m trying to think of what I would say now if I was in a similar situation and still can’t think of anything suave: “Good for you!” “I can’t wait to see them later.” “Can I feel?” None of these responses feel apropos.)
Upon chatting, it quickly became clear that she wanted only one thing: My dick. The entire evening, she shared stories of younger men she had boned. It was an unnecessary flex, but I didn’t mind. I liked hearing the stories of the younger men she, in her words, “seduced.”
Midway through drinks, she said that her husband was outside the restaurant. I looked out the window to see a man pacing menacingly. When I asked if everything was okay, she explained it was normal. “He likes to check in on me when I’m on a date with someone else.” She seemingly liked this behavior and found it adoring and protective.
I found it bizarre, controlling, and threatening, to the point I nearly bailed, but in case you forgot, her tits were real. Three margaritas in, I decided to risk my life for the opportunity to motorboat her soft pillows.
We went back to mine—I was not going to go back to hers with her murderous husband—and she jumped on me, literally. She jumped, wrapped her legs around me, and started kissing my face when I shut my bedroom door. We fell onto my bed together and laughed.
She was beaming when I started kissing her. Her smile was far too big for her tiny face. She was in heaven. She loved fucking younger men, and she knew how to get what she wanted.
She had a belly button ring and faded wings on her lower abdomen. A tattoo she must have gotten decades earlier. Her pussy was perfectly shaven—smooth as can be. When I started eating her out, she couldn’t stop giggling. When I asked if there was anything specific she’d like me to do, she simply replied, “I am so happy.”
When I went to grab a condom, she said not to bother. “I’m post-menopause, so you can cum in me.”
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to BOYSLUT to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.