I Got Theragunned in the Booty During Pride, and My Poor Asshole Will Never Be the Same
Nothing could have prepared me for the intensity.
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Most Prides, I opt for a sex party that’s unapologetically and unequivocally gay. Think three hundred burly men in a dank basement—the smell of freshly fucked assholes wafting in the thick air. As you enter the crowded room, a rush of heat hits your face, and immediately, you start to sweat. Electronic music pumps way too loudly; you can't hear yourself think. And though the red lights are dimmed, you can still make out the man in the mask getting railed in the swing and the twink on his knees, sucking the cocks of four men, circling him like vultures.
But this year, I opted for something queerer. Something more bisexual. This is how I found myself at GNDR FUCK—a trans and queer-centered play party—lying on my back, with my knees bent, taking a Theragun to my asshole. (Yes, some kinky masterminds realized that you could create dildo attachments for Theraguns, and we are forever grateful for their much-needed contributions to society.)
(The actual Theragun dildo used to penetrate the Boyslut.)
Richard, who goes by Dic with no “k,” asked me if I would like to experience the gun, and without thinking, I said yes. I had seen him use it on vaginas, and the result was always the same: an intense and resounding orgasm, often accompanied by some squirting. But I do not have a vagina. I have a bootyhole and prostate. While siblings, the asshole and vagina are not identical, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle the intensity of a Theragun in my rear end, especially since I hadn’t bottomed in a week. Don’t get me wrong, I had the odd finger in my hole but hadn’t taken a dick, dildo, or anything of substantial size in at least seven days. So my hole was tight.
I had a friend ask around to see if anyone had poppers. Not a soul was packing. I would have to take the gun without the help of every faggot’s favorite inhalant. I had Dic lube up my asshole and start with a finger. (I’m not insane and would not use the gun without being warmed up first.)
I took slow and deep breaths, relaxing into the sensation. My friend Jules, who I’ve previously described as “the Girl Next Door personified—a porn fantasy come to life,” jerked me off slowly, keeping me nice and hard. When I asked her to kiss me, she smiled lovingly and smooched me with her soft lips while maintaining a firm grip on my cock. Her enormous tits rubbed against my hairy chest, and I pinched one of her nipples.
A part of me didn’t want the scene to finish. I was in heaven getting fingered, jerked, and kissed. This threesome could satisfy every sexual urge—but I had made up my mind. I was going to take the chode-y purple dick attachment if it was the last thing I ever did.
I stopped kissing Jules. “I think I’m ready,” I said to Dic.
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