I really needed this article and I didn't even know it! I'm trying to navigate ENM and I am having FEELINGS for someone that told me they wanted to be causal from day one. I was confused because their actions seemed to skew more (we say I love you to each other, we talk daily, etc etc)
But I think you have described it perfectly that you CAN have meaningful relationships, without I guess for lack of better words, "official titles"! Thank you so much for this!
I have a husband to I have been partnered with for 24 year. I also, have a lover/friend who I have been in a relationship with for the past 4 years. He is living through the same or similar experiences that you are living through - but not with me. Our actions and words are aligned. His problem is with other that he wants to get to know, explore or vibe with... they don't believe him, or want to believe him, when he says that he wants to keep things casual, respectful, sexy and ethical. He spends a lot emotional energy and time trying not to break hearts and trying not to be the bad guy. Initially, I used tell him to dial things down to protect people from themselves .... but not anymore, fuck that! People need to take responsibility for what they want if not walk away... maybe they will be ready next week, maybe they will never be ready .... still, I get why they don't walk away... it's hope that the pink slipper will fit and the sexy prince-charming will fall in love with them and set all that "silly" ethical non- monogamy stuff aside and " grow-up." Compassion and understanding aside, the problem is that you and my boy are being seen as a "prize pieces" or "husband material" just like which means that they don't see you for you.
Thanks for writing the essay of course I sent it to my lover/friend with whom I do all the cutesy and not-so- cutesy ( wink, wink) gay stuff.
Yes, my husband of 24 years approves of this message!!!
Let’s question normativity around not telling people we care, simply because we have a primary partner who is another person. Lifelong friendships of zeal, trust, adventure and yet also lust and even romance are some of the best ways to grow and feel alive. I’m all for your sunshine policy Zach!
i like all the cutesy gay stuff too so I fully agree with you
LOVE the cutesy gay stuff!
I really needed this article and I didn't even know it! I'm trying to navigate ENM and I am having FEELINGS for someone that told me they wanted to be causal from day one. I was confused because their actions seemed to skew more (we say I love you to each other, we talk daily, etc etc)
But I think you have described it perfectly that you CAN have meaningful relationships, without I guess for lack of better words, "official titles"! Thank you so much for this!
I have a husband to I have been partnered with for 24 year. I also, have a lover/friend who I have been in a relationship with for the past 4 years. He is living through the same or similar experiences that you are living through - but not with me. Our actions and words are aligned. His problem is with other that he wants to get to know, explore or vibe with... they don't believe him, or want to believe him, when he says that he wants to keep things casual, respectful, sexy and ethical. He spends a lot emotional energy and time trying not to break hearts and trying not to be the bad guy. Initially, I used tell him to dial things down to protect people from themselves .... but not anymore, fuck that! People need to take responsibility for what they want if not walk away... maybe they will be ready next week, maybe they will never be ready .... still, I get why they don't walk away... it's hope that the pink slipper will fit and the sexy prince-charming will fall in love with them and set all that "silly" ethical non- monogamy stuff aside and " grow-up." Compassion and understanding aside, the problem is that you and my boy are being seen as a "prize pieces" or "husband material" just like which means that they don't see you for you.
Thanks for writing the essay of course I sent it to my lover/friend with whom I do all the cutesy and not-so- cutesy ( wink, wink) gay stuff.
Yes, my husband of 24 years approves of this message!!!
Let’s question normativity around not telling people we care, simply because we have a primary partner who is another person. Lifelong friendships of zeal, trust, adventure and yet also lust and even romance are some of the best ways to grow and feel alive. I’m all for your sunshine policy Zach!
I share the same sentiment…
I would like to keep the PDA and sleepovers with spooning please. But it's negotiatiable.